1951 XX XX 00:00:00
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MASH MENU | ← CHRONOLOGY → | CHARACTERS |
CHAPTER 3 THE CHEST CUTTERTitle taken from motion picture DVDNOVELThe new chest surgeon arrives, Captain John McIntyre. He evades everyone’s attempts to get to know him, and stays hidden inside a parka stocked with cans of beer and martini olives. For days Hawkeye has a nagging feeling that he’s met McIntyre before. McIntyre is a fantastic surgeon, but still won’t talk to anyone until Hawkeye suddenly remembers playing football against McIntyre in college. Hawkeye introduces McIntyre to everyone as Trapper John. | |
The new boy was six feet tall and weighed about a hundred and thirty pounds. His name was John McIntyre. The fatigue suit and parka he wore prevented anyone from getting much of a look at him. He acknowledged introductions with noncommittal grunts, he sat down at a table, pulled a can of beer out of a pocket and opened it. Then his head disappeared into the parka like a turtle’s into its shell, and the beer followed it. |
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“Jesus to Jesus and eight hands around, Duke!” Hawkeye yelled. “You know who we been living with for the past week? We been living with the only man in history who ever took a piece in the ladies’ can of a Boston & Maine train. When the conductor caught him in there with his Winter Carnival date she screamed, ‘He trapped me!’ and that’s how he got his name. This is the famous Trapper John. God, Trapper, I speak for the Duke as well as myself when I say it’s an honor to have you with us. Have a martini, Trapper.” |
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CHARACTERS: Radar O’Reilly Colonel Henry Blake Hawkeye Pierce Duke Forrest Captain Trapper John McIntyre Captain Ugly John Black |
PLACES: 4077th M.A.S.H. (Double Natural) Tent Number Six |
FILM |
“A man can’t really savor his martini without an olive.” |
“Am I going to get paid for giving you guys lessons?” |
“It’s you!” |
CHARACTERS: Ho-Jon Vollmer Seidman Hawkeye Pierce Dish Dago Duke Trapper John McIntyre Colonel Blake Ugly John Knocko Painless |
PLACES: 4077th M.A.S.H. |
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